Emotions Are Like Visitors: Invite Them In, But Never Let Them Overstay Their Welcome
Imagine this: your emotions are guests arriving at your door. Some are like your chatty aunt who never stops talking about her cats, while others are like that moody friend who shows up with a storm cloud overhead… and let’s not get started on the visitors who stop by, unannounced, and just sit on your sofa, watching your tv, eating your snacks; refusing to take the hint that you really want your solitude and you’re trying to wind down for the day. Just like house guests, emotions have their own “personalities” and “behaviors”. They’ll miss you and want to randomly stop by to give their unsolicited advice and try to figure out ways to insert themselves into your current life situations… some will even stop by to just… sit there and linger.
Here’s the thing about looking at emotions as visitors: you can operate with a mindset of “okay, they’re just stopping by for a little while, but they’re not going to stay forever… because they can’t since this is MY house.” They don’t have an eternal invitation—just a temporary one. If you leave them outside knocking all evening, you’ll end up feeling restless and overwhelmed. So, just let them in, offer them a comfortable seat, and hear them out. This way, you can engage with them without letting them take over your entire space. Instead of trying to lock the door and pretend no one’s knocking, we should open it, let them in for a cup of tea, and then show them out when it’s time. And if they’re unwilling to leave politely, kick their asses out, because that’s YOUR house where YOU make the rules, dammit!
Welcome to my not-so-perfect world of emotional management, where my feelings are like visitors—and handling them with grace is key to maintaining my mental peace and well-being.
Understanding Emotions as Temporary Visitors
Embracing the Role of Emotions in My Life
Once I got to a place where I didn’t ignore all of the other emotions I was experiencing and stopped settling into the familiarity of anger or resentment, I began recognizing that emotions are not the enemy. They are like that quirky cousin who shows up unannounced but brings a lot of color into your life. Emotions—whether they’re joy, sadness, anger, or anxiety—are my mind’s way of responding to the world. They’re a way to alert me to what’s happening internally and externally, helping me navigate through my experiences with a bit more ease.
When you receive a letter from a friend with exciting news, you feel elated; when you miss a deadline, you might feel anxious. These emotions are signals, not permanent fixtures. They come, they go, and they provide us with invaluable information about how we’re interacting with the world around us. If anyone ever tells you that emotions are a bad thing, simply respond, “to youuuuu!”. Never let anyone invalidate the emotions you feel in the moment and as you’re processing.
A Fun Fact About Emotional Responses
Some scientific studies will say our emotions are driven by brain chemistry and psychological processes. Neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine play crucial roles in how we feel. Feeling emotions is as natural as breathing—it’s a fundamental part of our biology. Emotions are simply our brain’s way of processing and responding to our environment.
I began considering this each time I was presented with a scenario where someone would attempt to shame or guilt me into “stop being emotional” because of how I feel in response to something.
Inviting Emotions In: The Importance of Acknowledgment
Welcoming My Emotions
When emotions come knocking, it’s important for me to let them in for a chat. Ignoring or suppressing them is like pretending I’m not home when the doorbell rings. And, this approach doesn’t make the emotions go away for me; it just keeps them lingering outside… and, depending on who’s at the door, they might begin knocking a little louder. Hell, they might even come back later that evening, or the next day, and continue to knock until I feel I have no choice but to open the door. Because by then, neighbors, the mailman, the electricity person… all of them are starting to notice this visitor lingering at my front door everyday.
Acknowledging my emotions doesn’t mean I have to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with every single one. Sometimes, just saying, “Hey, I see you’re here. Let’s figure this out,” can be enough. It’s about recognizing my feelings and giving them a space to be seen and heard.
Emotional Awareness Techniques
To be more in tune with your emotions, try a few of these techniques that helped me:
Journaling: Write down what you’re feeling. It’s like giving your emotions a place to settle before they leave. If you’re busy like me, and don’t always have the time to journal, just use the voice memo app on your phone to audibly document what you are feeling.
Talking It Out: Sometimes, just sharing what you’re going through with a trusted friend can help you process your emotions.
Processing Emotions: Letting Them Sit Down for Tea
The Importance of Emotional Processing
Once your emotions are inside, it’s time for a little tea party. Processing emotions means taking the time to understand them. By allowing yourself to explore your feelings, you give them a chance to be acknowledged and understood, which can lead to a healthier understanding of yourself.
Suppressing emotions is like stuffing a suitcase full of clothes—it’s going to burst open eventually. Processing them helps you deal with them in a manageable way.
Politely Asking Emotions to Leave: Relinquishing the Hold After the “Aha!”
Recognizing When It’s Time to Move On
Once your emotions have been acknowledged and processed, it’s important to recognize when it’s time to bid them farewell. Emotions are not meant to camp out in your life indefinitely. If you notice yourself ruminating or dwelling on a particular feeling, it might be time to gently show it to the door.
Recognizing when it’s time to move on can be challenging, but it’s crucial for maintaining emotional balance. It’s like saying, “Thank you for your visit. I’ve enjoyed our time, but it’s time for you to leave.”
My techniques for Letting Go
Here are a few strategies I use to help emotions move on:
- Setting Boundaries: Establish clear mental and emotional boundaries to prevent any one emotion from taking over.
- Focusing on Positivity: Engage in activities that lift your spirits and help you shift your focus away from lingering emotions.
Practical Tips for Managing Emotions Daily
Daily Emotional Maintenance
Maintaining emotional health is like keeping your house in order. Here are some daily habits to help:
- Regular Self-Check-Ins: Take a moment each day to check in with yourself. Ask, “How am I feeling today?” And, be honest with yourself. If you’re overwhelmed in any particular moment, there’s nothing wrong with validating the feeling that “whew… this is a lot… and I’m having a difficult time trying to juggle it all”. It’s a valid feeling! And precisely why you should check-in with yourself. If you’re the “Superwoman” “Superman” type, you may not have a lot of people asking you, “How are you feeling today?” So… perhaps, begin adopting the habit of checking-in with yourself.
- Balanced Routine: Incorporate activities that keep you grounded and happy.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes, emotions can become overwhelming or persistent. If you find that your emotions are significantly affecting your daily life, it might be time to seek professional help. Therapists and counselors can provide support and guidance tailored to your needs. And if no one has told you, “There is absolutely ZERO shame in seeking professional help. It is, in fact, immensely brave, and undeniably courageous.
Remember, it’s perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions. They’re not a reflection of your weaknesses but a natural part of being human. So, the next time you find yourself facing a full house of emotions, just remember: choose who to allow inside, offer them a cup of tea, hear them out, and then kindly ask them to leave when they’ve overstayed their welcome.
Embrace your emotions as visitors—they might surprise you with their insights, but they shouldn’t be allowed to take over your home. Feel them, understand them, and then move forward, knowing that each emotion is just a temporary guest in the grand house of your life.
